Nudity.

After my last couple of entries I was wondering, once again, whether to keep writing or just take some time off. That in my language means leaving it for months or years. Still I found that silly. Even more considering the feedback I got from readers I knew and others that discovered this through a new social media. Apparently it has been online for more than five years, but with the demise and dismemberment of twitter we had to flee somewhere.

When you start from scratch on a new social media it feels like when you start in a new school. It is not as easy as a new year, everything is different but still it is thrilling to find some people you already knew from the other places. That weird joy when you run into their profiles is nice.

The main difficulty I find in these times is to know what content I want to share. This is new so I make sure my relatives won’t have access to me through this media, once this has been established one can only be blank. This means, do I want to share my interests as a collector and fill their feeds with planes and models? Should I keep a political profile? Following my twitter account. Speaking of which I did find some balance in there between my NSFW likes and being decent. So now what?

What aspect or side of me should I share on this media? It feels weird to have so many options and not trying to separate them in different profiles. Some people need to do it, but why should I? After all I have been naturist since I was 16 so showing myself naked is not an issue. Physically at least. Psychologically it is another matter.

Whoever will read my blog will have access to most of that side of me, here I lay all my fears and hopes, how I feel and what hurts me, so basically if this is shared on the new media, so will be my feelings. This is something easier to do than the physical part.

What I find interesting is how we can share those feelings but not be naked in front of people. Although I thought it would be the other way round for me, since I’m used to being without clothes easier than others, but it’s not. I’ve always thought I would rather undress myself than show my inner self, I came to realise that sharing a blog is easier than showing skin.

This has brought me to wonder about the concept of nudity and how we see it nowadays. Obviously not everyone needs to agree and some people will find themselves more comfortable not showing anything while others just go bare.

Once upon a time I was dating a bellend we call La Basura, aka the Trash, because as my friend Rubén said he is like trash, you don’t keep it you throw it away. He was up for me being naked but as long as no one could see me. In one period we managed to get along and come to Spain on holidays I told him there was no way in hell I would go to the beach with clothes, he would have to deal with it. First it was his own shyness that he used as an excuse for not undressing there. He thought people would criticise him for not being a hunk, but as I said, no one cares. This made me realise that he was, once again, using his projection on them. He was the one making fun of naked people and he was the judgmental one, not them. He used to be obnoxious about people and of course he thought they would be the same as him. They didn’t give a f about his body or anyone else’s. He then was concerned that they would stare at my knob, as he said, and want to try more. This is obviously another topic to talk about, I will just say now I see his own insecurities coming up and him blaming others for them.

When you get naked you have to be aware of them and deal with them or else you won’t enjoy it. Of course everyone, even him, agrees swimming in the sea with nothing on is the best feeling ever. To get to that state requires to let go of all the insecurities we have. Which is fun cause we come to life naked and for some reason the world keeps dressing us up and hiding whatever we have and whoever we are.

We put layers after layers of clothes that we use to pretend being someone we are not, most of the time. If you go to a job interview you have to dress up like if you were going to a wedding, even if it is just to be a waiter or to push wheelchairs at the airport. You have to be fancy. Wearing sweatpants is for staying home or taking the trash out, although this is more and more common and some are so expensive they should become etiquette.

I wrote about how some underwear were faking sizes and shapes so you would look hunkier than you are. Underwear Party. There are so many ways to fake your body shape that is actually funny. You can be someone else, almost as if you were in disguise. Of course, I am not saying we should all be naked, we are approaching winter here so we need to keep warm, but it is interesting to think about it.

Most of the time people ask me about being naked. Home or outside. I always say, home it is OK although not in front of the neighbours, because they may not like to see some stuff, but also because I have 3 cats and I don’t like to be scratched or have their fur down there. Also some have concerns about what happens if you are at the beach and you get excited. I always say if you have it flaunt it. If you don’t then who cares? They will eventually get to see that part and I am always for sincerity. Using clothes to hide or enhance is useless. They will find out in the end whether you have it or not. So why lie?

When I take off my dogs harness I always tell him he is naked as if it was something that he was wearing, nude Rupert doesn’t care about it. His dress is only for him to go out to be safe outside. Are our clothes the same? Yes. They are. Just have in mind that common nightmare we all have had about being naked in public and how bad we feel. We have nothing to protect us, nothing to hide whatever we don’t want the others to see. Whether we have issues with some body parts or the whole body, this is a classic.

I’ve heard so many times that no one wants to see that, pointing at some part of my body that is supposed to be covered, and the thing is some people, sometimes lots of them, actually do. Not to perv or for bad reasons, but because it is OK. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve had my share of struggle to get to this point were I don’t care. I was fat as a teenager, then I was never happy with my body, I was too short or too hairy or not enough, or my skin was too dark, then I tried to change, I went to the gym, I did yoga and pilates and it was never enough. Now I don’t care.

So I made a poll asking people from this new social media what my content should be. Should it be like twitter? Or maybe like Instagram? What do they think should be the best? Their response surprised me because I was expecting way more backlash like they used to do on the bird app. On the contrary the voters were pretty nice. It made me feel safe and it made me feel me.

And just like that I became a little more me.

November 2022

Mastodon