The Day The Magic Died

These last few days and even weeks have been very hard for me, basically since my birthday. Too much work and some things I learned about my sister have made me think about how life can be a pain if you are not cautious and keep a cool mind.(The Day The Music Died) Everything can change in the blink of an eye.

As I drive through the university where I studied, I couldn’t help but wonder if my 20 year old self would have bared all that I’ve had to since then. What happened to the magic I believed in back then? Was I prepared for real life? When death is the outcome of some bad miscalculation or mistake, who is to blame?

It all made me think about how stupidly life can end and you’re gone. There was a show on MTV a long time ago about silly ways of dying, but it was a show. Now when those things happen in life it is different. Sometimes a random action can end very badly, a mistake, a miscalculation and it’s all over. For good.

When I was a kid I remember watching a show called Santa Barbara, it was a famous soap back in the eighties and maybe nineties too. Those that had impossible storylines with dead people coming back from the grave after faking their demise, or good daughters being tortured by evil stepmothers. Anyway, one of the plots was about a serial killer that would target blond women that reminded him about his yearned for loved one, that was to get married to another guy she preferred. This one was not the love of her life and he was a bit of a jerk. Somewhere along the story he had some brain damage that pushed him to killing all the ones he thought to be his love interest. Most of those were just figurants. One episode ended with one of the main characters getting in the car with him, it was a random act since she would normally have someone different pick her up, but this time she came with him, she knew him, last shot was him giving her a flower he would give to all his victims. Cliffhanger.

On the next episode she was dead, like all the previous ones. I was not even ten back then I remember how bad it made me feel. It was like, why did she get in the car, why didn’t she wait for her brother to pick her up as he always did. It was so random and stupid. I felt she didn’t deserve that. Little did I know that life is like this. Back then I just rejected it as something that could happen. For me those above would prevent those things from happening.

As years went by I learned that death is there. People die, sometimes from deseases and sometimes from accidents. A couple of years later, it struck again. My parents made a group of friends who had kids my age. They got along, but I didn’t. Still one day we received a phone call from one of them saying Guy died. Apparently he went into the basement for something, it was flooded, he didn’t see there were loose cables and entered the part where the water was in contact with the electric system. It was fast. They all were shocked.

Another of my friends from back then had a terrible accident with his father. They drove past a railway crossing without checking properly and they got run over by the train. He survived with a broken arm. Not his father. I never knew what to say to him. There again it was something unfortunate and unforeseen and the result of some bad luck. Nevertheless death is unexpected and it can strike unexpectedly.

By the end of the nineties we used to go visit Paris before we would come back to Abidjan. We were in Disneyland. We actually arrived there the same day as the late Princess of Wales. My mother always admired her and thought it was so great. So the next day when we all learned about her tragic demise we were shocked. How was it even possible that this icon I had heard of for as long as I could remember died in such way? I was sixteen and I learned famous people also die. I already lost my uncle before, but from illness, still you don’t expect rich people to have that kind of death.

Around that time one of my school mates lost his father in a plane crash. He was learning how to pilot small aircrafts and he had an accident on take off. We had a day off at school to attend the funeral. I already had learnt dads die, but this was turned into something more official. Then again I didn’t know what to say.

At university I became a fan of an R&B singer called Aaliyah, just a couple of months before she died in a tragic plane crash. She was filming her last video for the next single of her best album to the date, the aircraft was too heavily loaded and couldn’t take off, they all perished. She was a couple of years older than me. No more music, no more videos. It shocked me even more when I heard her brother doing the eulogy at  her funeral. I thought I wouldn’t be able to speak about my sister that way if she died. It scared me so much I never spoke about it. It became my worst fear but I hid it deep within me and never ever mentioned it.

Famous people also perish in the most stupid ways. In Spain we had a celebrity that slipped in the bathtub and died from head trauma. Apparently she was under pain killers. France had one of its best selling singers back in the eighties who got electrocuted in the bath by his hair dryer. It was very sad and unexpected. Then we lost Whitney Houston also in the same place. Too much alcohol and drugs and water. It was not something she planned or looked for. We may discuss whether Marilyn Monroe was pushed to commit suicide or if she got helped, and we may never know the truth. The singer’s case was more of an accident and it was not the only one.

Since then we have lost most of the great artists in the music industry from the eighties. Gone way before it was their turn. Some from bad combination of medication like the King of Pop, aka Michael Jackson, others from illness like the lead singer of the Cranberries or Roxette, George Michael and Prince. We have also lost the rebel princess from a galaxy far far away.

We are all equal in death. It can come to us whether we have a healthy life or a bad one, it doesn’t discriminate. You may be famous or poor it will find you and get you. It is inevitable. Illness can be the medium of getting there, it may prepare you, more or less for the outcome, if it is not something very fast. You get to say goodbye to your loved ones. You can prepare yourself for it. Accidents are more cruel, they just rip them off you and you never get closure, it is unexpected and unfair, but life is like that.

Some deaths are epic, others are just stupid and upsetting. Sometimes you can get ready to say goodbye, others you just have to deal with the loss forever. You can’t avoid it, it will come to take you first if you are lucky, or last if your beloved ones are lucky. The ones who stay are the ones who will miss you. So my advice is to cherish every day you have them in your life, never get upset for too long with them you may never have the chance to make amends. Always say I Love You. It may be the last time you say it to him or her.

May 2022.