Sex And The Country.

I spent last week at my special one’s, who lives in a small, very small village with lots of nature around and very few urban commodities like cinemas and shops. He is always concerned about me being bored by this kind of life, considering we will be living together there in the future. It is a big house with lots of work to do, inside but also outside, the gardens are very large. It wouldn’t be the first time I have trade the life in the city, so to speak, for living in the countryside although the last time it didn’t end well.

Now back home I can’t help but wonder how my life would be in a place like that but with the correct person. Can we really manage to live out of the cities? Can I?

After all the confinements the people realised that living in big cities may be not as good as expected. All those city dwellers thought that good life is having a penthouse or a roof floor flat, living down town where you can go everywhere by foot, or where you can have all the facilities in walking distance. Nevertheless when we all got confined home and couldn’t go out except for grocery shopping and first necessity chores, it all changed.

Not being able to go out of your own house was very hard. You could see online all those celebrities complaining about it in their huge mansions with acres and acres of land, swimming pools and gardens and woodland, whilst others had only another building in front of their windows. Some had no sun at all and suddenly terraces and balconies became a luxury. We all had to acknowledge that we were wrong. I must say I was lucky, since I don’t live in the city and I have nice views from my house, as a terrace so I could get some air and sunlight.

It was not always like that. When I lived in France, except in my last home, we had to be in tiny flats, with sometimes no view but the building in front of ours and a small piece of sky. I think, now, how hard it would have been if I had to live confined there. Which is probably why the French had more options to go out than we did. They had the one hour a day to wander around. Or was it the 1 km around the house… I can’t be bothered to remember.

The first flat was a top floor 35m² in an L shape with a window the size of my TV screen, and a longand useless hallway. It was next to the train station, and the City center, so obviously well placed for everything you wanted to do there without having to take the car, but still the interior was awful and the fact we had no money by then wasn’t helping, we had to remain indoors for long periods of time unless we would go out of the city to grab some air. So, as soon as we had some more income we moved out of it. We went literally to the other side of the tracks, but to a bigger flat, with a bedroom, kitchen and living room. And a balcony all along the front with views to the train station from the tracks side. It was very nice but when our places of work were in another city and we broke up, it became obvious we couldn’t afford living there anymore. So we had to move. Again.

I found a 25 m² flat in Annecy, just outside of the city center, so a nice place and in a walking distance to my workplace. It is a very expensive city to live in, but this apartment was not that much because it was a fourth floor with no elevator. No one wanted it despite the fact it was very well placed. Again a tiny surface to live in but in this case at least the kitchen was separated. The only issue was the living room slash bedroom, but I ended up finding a way around by buying a cabin bed that was above of the TV and living space. Unfortunately too close to the ceiling so it felt like sleeping in a coffin. Still life there was very nice, and the four flat of stairs helped me getting fit.

Then I met the Trash and somehow I ended up living with him, 55 km from there, in a house in the middle of nowhere. Literally. Read La Basura for more details about the relationship. The house was OK, have in mind I traded the tiny flat for a whole place with 2 bedrooms, living room, huge kitchen, garden and even a basement. So for me and my animals it was the best. I remember that my therapist asked me if I liked living there, away from everything, I told her I did, it was the best option for my animals, I enjoyed it but only when I was alone. This should have rung some bells.

I managed to get back and forth to work, even if it was a bit more expensive than what I expected. We lived 10 minutes driving distance from the closest market, so if you forgot the bread it would take you half hour to get it and be back. As for the take away pizzas for example. We had neighbours but no shops or anything. Still in half hour or so we could be in the biggest city of the area to enjoy the theatre or the movies. Some friends I had back then told me they never thought I would survive or be happy out of the city. Which wasn’t true. I did enjoy all the pros and some cons of that life. We had two hens and I had to pick up their eggs every day. The cats were happy, and dogs too, we could eat outdoors when the weather was OK and I learned how to manage the wood for the fireplace. How to store it, dry it, how to live in a house with chimney and a sceptic tank. It was fun. I even learned how to mow the grass, and when I tried to play it sexy, no shirt and all sweaty, he told me I was behaving like a slut and I should cover myself…

As you may have read between the lines that life wasn’t good enough for me, not because of the place, but because of the company. He was an absolute nightmare to live with, so I ended up breaking up with him and I decided to move back to my house here in Spain. After all, work wasn’t going well and I grew tired of paying a rent twice the mortgage I had. Plus finding a new apartment there was almost impossible with my income and 3 animals at charge. So I came back to civilisation.

Then I met my special one, but it was not after many months that he got me to visit his house. Which, as I said before, is outside of a very small village and around 20 minutes driving distance from the closest big city. It is not as if he would be living in the middle of nowhere, but it is fun to just open the gate and be by the cliffs, with only some hikers around and wildlife at its best. 10 km from there in that direction you fall into the Mediterranean Sea. If you don’t get lost in the woods.

Since then I have spent some periods of time with him, staying there for a week sometimes and I must say it felt familiar, but not as creepy. Taking care of the fireplace was something I learned how to do, and having someone grateful to you for doing it while you are a guest changes everything. I spent lots of time just staying outside and listening to the noise of the birds and the wind. It felt really awesome despite not being in a place we’re I can walk to go to the restaurant like I can do at home. It did feel like home too.

Nowadays if you have a car, nothing is too far, although I must agree that the fuel prices are a bit crazy at the moment, but what I mean is, if you can drive it’s not that far. Honestly if I want to go to the main cities here, or even downtown, I have to take the public transport or my own vehicle and it would take me 15 minutes the closest to up to 30 if I want to go bigger, so it doesn’t feel odd for me. When you live in a big city you like to go out and have fresh air, whether it is in the mountains or at the beach. On the contrary, when you live in rural places, you end up tired of the city and you go there just when necessary, knowing your home is away from all the noise, haste and pollution. I experienced that when I lived in France. Besides, I like nature and animals, so for me it would be getting back to the fun of some of the things I lived in France, like the eggs and the garden, the wood piles and then swapping them around the garage were a great workout.

The funny truth is that I learned the hard way how it is to be in that kind of place, and most of it was even fun to do, so as I said to my therapist, the company was the issue, not the location. Today the partner couldn’t be better so why not try the place?

March 2022.