Miss Americana.

I have written a couple of entries about Taylor Swift on the daily questions, both in Spanish, Taylor Swift 2.0, so I thought about doing one longer in English in order to reach more readers and probably more than one swiftie across the fediverse.

I’ve always been a Madonna fan, and I probably will until I die. Still that doesn’t mean I can’t listen to other singers, like Taylor Swift, Pink or The Corrs, and maybe even go a bit obsessive about them. It has happened to me with many of the artists I now follow. But what I’ve been doing for the last couple of months is beyond what I was expecting or what I have experienced before. I agree I used to listen to Ace Of Base or Katy Perry in a loop. Although never to the point I am with Taylor Swift.

Let me give you an example. Last November we went to Lisbon, and on the flight back we experienced some turbulences on landing. Normally I freak out a bit, I don’t mind flying on a plane but when it’s bumpy I hate it. I had my headphones on and I was listening to her music, it started to shake so I tried to focus on something else, the melody, the lyrics, her voice. Well at some point I stopped feeling scared and could calm down. It was that song playing at the moment.

I should probably start by the beginning because it is pretty funny how I learned about her. It was in France, when I lived there. Before all the mess with La Basura. My cousin invited me for lunch and we were watching TV, her music video was flashing on the screen, Shake It Off, and I liked it, although I remember him telling me he disliked her as she was a young country music trying to go into pop music. Like a Madonna wannabe. I still enjoyed the song, but I put that comment somewhere in my mind. I used to listen to Faith Hill and Shania Twain, so her style wouldn’t have displeased me at all. But yeah, we didn’t need more Katy Perry or Britney Spears.

Some months later I saw the video of Wildest Dreams. I was struck. I instantly loved the song. I had to listen to it. I downloaded her full 1989 album and put that specific track on repeat. I had it on ALL THE TIME, except when working. I remember listening to covers made by other singers. Male ones most of them. But her version was my favourite. I heard it so many times I knew all the chords, instruments and backing vocals. That song really got me hooked. If I say I had it on loop for months I’m not exaggerating. I was madly in love with the tune. So of course I listened to the other songs of the album, but just the main singles got a chance. I liked them. But that was all.

The following years and albums went by with not much fuss. I kept my secret love for those 3 songs. The main single, the one I adored and Style. I knew she made new songs but I didn’t care much. I listened to other singers, went back to Madonna, and that was all until the pandemic. When she released folklore. It was an instant crush again. Probably the fact we were all locked down and I had broken up with my boyfriend meant I was in a more sensitive place. I love all the album and I had it on repeat for months. My best friend was bored of me listening to it all day long. Then she released evermore and it was the same. Although this one was a bit less successful in my mind. Probably also because I had moved on from that tender place I was months before. Still I liked the album a lot.

I used to listen to her when I worked in the bar. If the owner wasn’t there we could use Alexa as we pleased, so I did. It was the easiest artist to say in Italian. And I remember her music would cheer me up in those awful shifts. This is when I heard Delicate for the first time, from the album Reputation, and I got hooked like with Wildest Dreams. I got the song playing every end of day, while I was cleaning and feeling like I was about to give up. That song helped me move on and be strong. At the restaurant we also put her on YouTube while we were moping floors and getting all ready for the day. Once again it boosted me. She helped me cope with those dreadful working conditions.

I followed the hype on the release of Midnights, in 2022, although not going as cray cray as when swifties were saying she would announce the release of Reputation TV on her las concerts of 2023. I must say that even when I downloaded the entire album, my favourites were not the ones most people liked. Which is funny because I have noticed with her that is something that happens to me. With other singers I like the song or not after a couple of listening and I don’t change my mind, but with Taylor Swift, it is the story behind the song, or the lyrics, or even the melody, that gets me. And most of the time it is after getting used to the song that I like it. Bejeweled is one of those that went from meh to wow. Her songs need to grow on me. They all do.

When we went to see the film of the last tour, in October, I knew most of the songs, others were more unknown to me, or I didn’t fancy them. So after seeing it and getting really hooked on her, I decided to make a playlist with all of them, including the singles. I must say some songs made their way to may at that moment. It took me time to get to like them, but I got obsessed with them. Marjorie is one of those I didn’t pay attention to, and the more I listened to it, the more I liked it, until I got, as with many more, all the chords, instruments, lyrics. Etc. This last one reminds me so much to my lost relatives that I has the ability to make me cry or at least have goosebumps. (Death Becomes Her.The Day The Music Died, I’ll Remember.)

One of the things about this particular singer, apart from the fact that she writes and produces her songs, that many times she directs her own music videos and she is in control of many aspects of her music, is that she makes me feel things. It may sound funny, but I got it from a tv show where they named her in an episode, stating that she was the character favourite singer because she made him feel things. It struck me. It is true. When I listen to her songs, really paying attention to all that is involved, it takes me to places I never thought I would visit. I can feel pain, or happiness or both with her music. It started with Wildest Dreams, I could relate with those emotions portrayed in the song, I could watch them as a spectator or feeling them live. It has happened to me before, with some songs, but not like this. All her songs do that to me. I just need to find the correct mood.

I started watching documentaries about her, interviews, I got interested in all that was around those albums and songs. I learned about the dispute she had with her previous record company, and how she managed to find a loophole to get her music back. She was very clever and that changed the industry forever as they didn’t expect it would work so well. When she re released 1989 Taylor Version (TV), I bought it online. I haven’t done that in years, and I thought it would be special, I would buy the re-release of the first album I listened from her, the one that made me know her. I got it and I must say I don’t understand how so many amazing songs remained unknown to me for so long. Probably it wasn’t the time for it. I had it on repeat for many days. I was feeling things. She made me happy and I wanted to give back part of it. I kept learning about her, about her music, her world. About being a swiftie. I embraced it.

I have been fan of others before, but there is always drama. If you like Madonna, you have to deal with trolls all day long. People who criticise her every move, just for the sake of it. I have said things I didn’t like from her, as a fan I am allowed to not agree with everything, but I will defend her always. Despite this, I found being her fan is pricy, you have to endure too much bad blood from outside and from inside too. If you say anything bad about her you get trashed, but you will be anyway. So when I started following Taylor Swift, I found it easy to manage the trolls. I was used to people making fun of me for liking her, I wouldn’t listen to the gossip and bad comments some people need to spit on everyone. But most of all, there was no competition, not confrontation, like Lady Gaga vs Madonna, or Beyonce vs Rihanna. She had her spot and no one was trying to make her shine despite the others. It was peaceful. Being a swiftie is stressful as she likes to tease us, but there is no drama inside the group.

I grew up in the eighties and nineties, it was very hard for me to find a place in society without having to lie about myself. I was gay and I had not many references to look up to. I had Madonna that was there, through her music I learned how to accept myself the way I was and to never apologise for being who I was. I can say she saved me during all the dark periods in my life. The other day I watched a video of two lads talking about what 1989 meant for them as it was released when they were teenagers. How the lead single taught them to be proud of themselves. To accept their lifes no matter what haters could think or say. I found myself related to that. I saw what I owed to Madonna in them owing the same to Taylor Swift.

After watching the Eras Tour concert in theatres, I regretted I didn’t get any tickets for her European leg of the tour, I tried but they sold out so fast… I got all her albums on my phone and it is basically the only thing I listen to right now. All her new released versions plus the ones she did with her new record company, the ones from the vault, the singles, everything. And the more I do, the more upset and annoyed I get for not seeing her live. I have a bootleg of the concert I play on repeat. Funny thing is, when I get to the last song I’m crying because it’s over, so I start again and I am happy because it’s beginning one more time. It happened to me with the Blonde Ambition Tour, but I never played it on repeat so many times.

When we were in Lisbon, Madonna offered upgrades on the seats if you replied to a quiz on Spotify, so I opened an account there. I didn’t get anything, and I didn’t know what to do with it. Days later I got an idea, I would use it to play Taylor Swift on my TV, only her although I put more singers on my favourites. I found new songs I didn’t even know they existed, the suggestions and the shuffle mode helped me reach new levels of craziness. And suddenly she became the Global Top Artist of 2023. It won’t mean much to many people but somehow I feel proud and happy for her, and that in a very small portion I helped her getting there. 1989TV went number one in sales almost instantly, her film too, now Spotify crowns her. It feels good to do it, she makes me feel things, I’m grateful for it.

Apparently 2023 will be the year of Taylor Swift as Time has just announced her as person of the year. The awards keep raining on her. After 17 years in the business it looks like it is right no when she is breaking all the glass ceilings. Being her fan is getting really amazing as we speak. And more considering 2024 may bring us many more surprises and fun.